Strictly ruokday

On September 15, 2011, in Strictly Emotional, Strictly Suicide, by Kathy Rees
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“”My fellow twitter pals, are you OK? #ruOKday ”
This was the tweet that tipped the balance as to whether I write this post or not. So here it is – in all its frustrated fury.
RUOKDAY is a dangerous, pathetic attempt by the government to address depression and suicide.  As I tweeted several times already today – what will you do if your friends are not OK?
Where will you send them?  There is a + 6 months wait for hospital to see anyone regarding a depressive or mental illness – unless you present in a truly psychotic state, which may take 3 visits from different specialists to confirm this for you to get a bed, if there is one available.
Are you equipped to deal with someone else’s meltdown?  How will you cope with their depression and can you diagnose it?  Even if you can where will you send them?  To their GP – they may have to wait a few days and then if they get a referral to a psychiatrist, privately you will have to wait anywhere up to 3-6 months for initial consultation and have around $300.o0 to spare.
Don’t believe me?  Recently I had to get an appointment for my daughter and the psychiatrist would not see her unless I paid the full amount up front.  They would not accept the difference between the Medicare rebate and their fee – the ombudsman and Society for Psychiatrists did not care – it’s free trade.  So needless to say, my daughter was not seen.  We waited another six months to see someone who would bulk bill us – but they are still in private practice – we still have her name down for public – it’s been over two years.
So before you ask someone if they are OK, make sure you are prepared for the answer.  Don’t scurry to your ‘well’ friends and say in whispering voices that you think so and so has (more…)
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Strictly Suicide Media

On September 1, 2011, in Strictly Suicide, by Kathy Rees
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Yesterday two things happened.  I saw this interview and found these – the media guidelines for suicide reporting.

 

The main argument against reporting suicides is that it’s contagious – a spate of suicides follow – especially celebrity ones. I’ve spoken about this before. Having read the media guidelines though, I have another perspective.

 

It’s not only how the media don’t ‘report’ about it, it’s also how the coroner doesn’t record it. Death by misadventure is usually a polite way of saying they jumped off a cliff.

 

I’m not in favour of a blow by blow description – though the public blood lust demands it – (I’m still amazed how many people ask me how my husband did it and are surprised when I tell them – you’ll sleep better if you don’t know) there is a morbid curiosity or is it something more sinister – something to file away for later in case they need it?

 

Having read the guidelines and finding the section where they talk about vulnerable sectors of the community being influenced, I stopped and thought about it carefully – that actually precludes the whole world – because there is always a weak moment in all of us at one time or another where we can be influenced either up or down.

 

So do I have an answer – yes and no.  Reporting of statistics, or the lack of them, issues surrounding what leads to suicide all need to be talked about and without the fear that these ideas and discussions will put ideas into other people’s heads.  We’ve built the buildings for people to jump off – now we have to teach them how to live with them.

 

Carry on.

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Strictly the Raw Prawn

On April 27, 2010, in Strictly Editorial, by Kathy Rees
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Face to Face
Creative Commons License photo credit: Grantsviews

When we had kids, we came to an arrangement.  I would do all the poo and vomit and he would do the teeth and nails, because I’m totally squeamish about teeth and nails.  I know, I don’t understand it either, but there you are.

So now I’m on my own, I get the full joy of pulling out those wobbly bleeding teeth of my now ten year old, who thankfully doesn’t have many of them left, but I’ve dealt with the last five years worth of them.  Also the cutting of the toe nails which I can never do right and almost always ends in tears, both of ours.  The ten year old for nearly losing his toes, and me for causing him so much pain and anguish and for being the one who has to do it even though we had a deal.

Last night I made myself some prawns.  I saw a really quick nice recipe on Everyday Italian and decided to try it.  I totally forgot about the preparation that goes into prawns when I bought six green prawns from the fishmonger.   When I unwrapped the package I was face to face, literally, with six green bug eyed prawns that I would now have to de-head, de-vein and then cook.  OMG another deal breaker I had forgotten all about.  Whenever we had prawns together, he would always de-head and de-vein them and I would cook them.  No wonder I haven’t made them myself for so long.  Funny the things you forget I guess.

Anyway I so didn’t want to eat the bloody prawns after I succesfully de-headed them and cleaned their tracts.  I also washed them for good measure, because I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten a bad prawn, but I have, and I choose death over eating another one.  So I am super careful and very suspect about every single prawn.

I ate five of the six once I’d grilled them and sauced them with pesto and lemon.  They were delicious I guess but they

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Strictly Suicide

On April 23, 2010, in Strictly Editorial, Strictly Suicide, by Kathy Rees
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Suicide is a tragic waste.  I think we can all agree on that.  What I believe is more tragic is the community response to suicide.

There is a perception in the mainstream media that to talk about suicide will increase it.  This has been backed up by small increases in suicides after the suicides of popular celebrities (Coban for example). Suicide is seen as contagious to those who are vulnerable to influence.

How then, as a community can we act to protect, help or heal those vulnerable amongst us?  Rather than not talk about the disease that is killing a group of us, how can we talk to move change?

AIDS was not talked about for a long time, until its numbers increased to the point where all humanity was threatened, and then all of a sudden it was all anyone could talk about.  Suicide is, unfortunately, taking the same road, but no-one will talk about it.

Suicide accounts for the highest number of deaths among males 17-25 outside of motor vehicle accidents, and was the number two killer, for a while, of men 40-45.

These are only the clear cut cases we know about.  Reporting of suicides on death certificates, which then account for the ABS (statistics) figures are grey.

There seems to be a Darwinist stream that runs among us, where those who can survive turn a blind eye to those who aren’t ‘strong enough’ to make it.  Until this attitude changes amongst us as humans, suicide will always be ranked in the top 5 killers.

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Strictly Mortality

On April 20, 2010, in Strictly Emotional, by Kathy Rees
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If you’ve lost your partner through death, along with the normal emotions associated with grieving, the issue of mortality becomes more poignant and we realise that something may also happen to us and what will happen to the children if it does?  How would they cope?  Where would they live?

These questions can keep a single parent awake at night for hours, worrying about what will/could/should happen.  It’s natural.  As a single parent you take on all the burdens and worries.  So let’s look at how to deal with mortality.

Try to live your life consciously and to do what pleases you as much as you can that is practical in your circumstance.  Parenting takes the priority, as we know, but try to make that special time just for yourself so you can enjoy your own (more…)

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