Strictly Solo

On April 22, 2010, in Strictly Emotional, Strictly Parenting, by Kathy Rees
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Once you get married, it guarantees you a partner in life.  There’s always going to be someone there to scratch your back, pick you up when you fall over, encourage you through those hard times.

When your partner dies unexpectedly however, this changes everything.  Everything you thought about life, love and marriage has finished and you have to calve out a new life for yourself and your children.

When you have children, the burdens of your life have just doubled instantly.  It’s up to you alone to raise your children.  Something that you entered into as a partnership, now relies on you sailing solo to complete, and it scares you – a lot.

Whether your partner dies, or you separate through divorce, there is a grieving process that takes place.  You grieve for what you had, what you believed you would have, and what you thought your life, as a family, would be like.

While trying to cope with this grief, you also have the responsibility of caring for your children, immediately.  They don’t tend to wait, nor understand that you are upset over life’s more complex issues.

This means a huge amount of sacrifice on your part, the parent.  You need to put your feelings on the back burner while you make toast, get school lunches ready, sort out the house stuff, get to work and keep your career on track, get the kids to their after school activities – somehow, get home, talk to the kids about their day, get their homework done, (more…)

Strictly Discipline

On April 21, 2010, in Strictly Parenting, by Kathy Rees
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Children need discipline and a routine helps as well.  But when you’re on your own, this can be hard to manage.  It usually helps when there is someone there to back you up, to support your decisions, or to be the second voice against the arguments and debate that come from the children against their punishments.

Being alone in this can be a double edged sword.  At times it can be liberating because your word is law, what you say goes.  Usually the kids learn this and understand that whatever your decision is, it’s final.  Sometimes we don’t always agree with our spouse over matters of discipline or how to handle a situation and this can lead to arguments with each (more…)