If you’ve lost your partner through death, along with the normal emotions associated with grieving, the issue of mortality becomes more poignant and we realise that something may also happen to us and what will happen to the children if it does?  How would they cope?  Where would they live?

These questions can keep a single parent awake at night for hours, worrying about what will/could/should happen.  It’s natural.  As a single parent you take on all the burdens and worries.  So let’s look at how to deal with mortality.

Try to live your life consciously and to do what pleases you as much as you can that is practical in your circumstance.  Parenting takes the priority, as we know, but try to make that special time just for yourself so you can enjoy your own life along the way.

Make a will.  I haven’t met anyone who actually ever wanted to do this but once you have children, and you are the sole guardian, it is imperative that you leave clear instructions as to what is to happen to your children.

Find a guardian, either within the family or not.  Discuss the issue with the guardian and make sure they are happy to take on that responsibility, and then draw up a will outlining those instructions.

Let the children know.  This is really important to do even though it is probably something you never want to even discuss with them.

Children of single parent families due to death are far more aware of the potential loss of the remaining parent.  It is important for them to know that although nothing will probably happen to you, if it ever does, this is who will take care of them. It gives them a sense of security knowing that everything will be alright – just in case.

This is one of the hardest things that parents have to face but as a single parent, you owe it to yourself and your children to take care of this matter.  It will help you sleep at night knowing that it is taken care of.

Once the guardianship issue is dealt with, make sure your financial documents are in a safe place and your children or their guardian knows where that is.  Again the children will feel better knowing that their lives will still continue on in some form.  It’s a purely psychological measure, but it does help.

It will also help you in your level of worry.  Once the worst case scenario has been covered and you’ve put measures in place, it’s one less thing to keep you awake at night.  Believe me as a single parent, there will be plenty of other things to keep you awake as time goes on.

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