I have important work to do. I have to write a 2500 word essay on the resistance/reaction dichotomy in organisational change to pass my masters, and then I have to write some more chapters in my book.
I also have to pay a few bills, do a budget, make a plan for the future and generally be a hard working, tax paying, conscientious citizen of the world.
Instead I find myself with much more important work to do – Facebook work. I have to grow my crops, collect my rent and collapse coloured squares to oblivion.
It is time consuming yet gloriously distracting mundane work that is not going to amount to anything except the complete incompleteness of my tasks and goals.
And yet I find it hard to stop myself. Again I look to myself for the scared of success post I wrote a couple of weeks ago now, and wonder, well know, that it is just another excuse. Another waiting game I am playing with myself. But it made me think about all my neighbours in these games, all my competitors I try to beat in the weekly challenges, what is it that they are hiding from, stalling to complete.
And then I thought even deeper about the very darkest times I have turned to my facebook indulgences, just to keep me going, literally, for five more minutes, until life becomes bearable again. Small useless goals that give me a reason at times to get up, to see if my crops are ready, my dishes cooked, what gifts can I send, but more importantly what did I get.
I know these times. I thought it was probably just me, a pathetic internet user in the dark in the middle of the night, making virtual towns with virtual people with pretty virtual clothes and virtual friends, because life at 2.30am can be lonely but your virtual friends are always there.
So I thought for a long time today about the epidemic of loneliness that is rampant on Facebook – for all its millions of users, it is still New Years Eves in Times Square, hundreds of thousands of people all hoping that next year will be better and that someone will love them.
Carry on.
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